Time for a separation…the good kind.

I know a lot of artists that feel like they have to be all-or-nothing when it comes to their careers, and that taking time to find balance in their lives means taking time away from their career goals. Ambition is one thing — and it’s a great thing, at that — but always putting your career before your life will definitely lead to eventual burnout. And when you’re burned out, your career takes a hit. So, really, you’re not helping your career by going at it nonstop. You need balance, plain and simple.

All work and no play makes Jack...well, let's just say he needs some balance.

One particular client of mine, who we’ll call Anthony, was a poster child for the “All Career; No Life” mentality. Anthony is a film composer, and for the last couple of years, he’s been building a name for himself by scoring as many low-budget independent films as he can fit into his schedule. He has a small studio in his apartment, and he spends nearly all of his time at home sliding his chair back-and-forth between his computer and keyboards. The fact that his living and work spaces are one-and-the-same makes it extremely difficult for Anthony to separate the two, and what he found was that he couldn’t stop working if he was at home. If he had time to relax, he figured that it was time that could be spent composing music. During our sessions, it was clear that Anthony was running on empty because he had no balance between his life and his career.

Once we began talking about it, it became apparent that Anthony felt that he would fall behind the pack if he didn’t keep up his pace. He considered indulging in downtime a lack of ambition, and this posed a special challenge since his home was also his studio — it meant that he could never fully relax in his own apartment. Clearly, something had to give, because Anthony had reached a level of stress that was heading in a dangerous direction. We started out by setting up specific office hours during which Anthony would work on his compositions. It took some convincing, but he eventually took to the idea that his home office was closed for business outside of those hours. He even bought a lock for his studio room and locked up for the day when he was done.

At first, it wasn’t easy for Anthony to stick to his office hours, but the more he practiced them, the better he became at separating his work from his home life. He realized that part of his problem in not being able to relax at home was that he had never invested in making his apartment a relaxing place — he had been too focused on work. So, Anthony took the time to make his apartment a space that he wanted to be in. He invested in some new furniture, bought some DVD box-sets of tv shows he’d been interested in watching, and subscribed to the New York Times so that he could read a physical copy instead of staring at his computer. It took a little bit of time and dedication to changing old habits, but Anthony eventually became a believer in balance.

So, I have a challenge for those of you who work from home (which means pretty much every artist out there, unless you have an office). I want you to find one thing you can do this week to create some separation between your work and your home life. I don’t care how small it is — this is about being conscious of how much one area bleeds into the other and putting an emphasis on balance. Trust me: making a concerted effort to NOT work during your downtime is going to make you feel great!

Finding love for the cover letter

Let’s talk cover letter. Now, hold on just a second — I know it’s not the sexiest topic in the world, but I think you should really stick around for this. Why? Because I don’t care what level you’re at in your career; this is a skill that is necessary for any artist who wants to do business effectively.

The biggest issues that I’ve seen artists have with writing cover letters are that they don’t know WHO they are writing to and they don’t know exactly WHY they are writing the letter. If you can get clear on both of these, then the actual writing of the letter will be a piece of cake. The first step in creating a successful cover letter is not the actual writing of the letter, but the preparation for writing it. In other words, this first step is about gaining clarity.

Marlon Brando and his little friend are gaining clarity before they type up their cover letter.

Take a moment right now and think about someone you can practice writing a cover letter to; try to pinpoint someone who excites you. Maybe it’s someone you’ve wanted to introduce yourself to in your market or someone you’ve wanted to re-connect or follow up with. In the examples below, I’ll imagine that I’m writing to a talent manager here in New York. When you’re ready to start this process, write or type the name and contact info (company, etc.) of the person you’re writing to at the top of a blank page.

Once you know exactly who you’re writing to, it’s time to get clear about why you’re writing to him or her. You’ll do this by asking yourself some questions that will help you gain clarity about why you’re going to move forward with writing this letter or not. Here are the questions:

1) I have chosen to write to this person because I want __________.
Simply put, what do you want to come as the result of this person reading your letter? Why did you choose to write to him or her over everyone else?
Example: “I want to meet her.” Keep this answer simple, and don’t over-think it.

2) One question I have for this person is __________.
It may seem similar, but this is a little different from the first sentence. Get curious here and think about what this person knows that you don’t. Imagine that you’re stuck in an elevator with him or her and can ask any question you want.
Example: “How many clients do you represent, and do you have a lot of L.A. industry contacts?” Okay, that’s technically two questions, but you get the idea.

3) One way I might be able to help this person is __________.
This tends to be the trickiest one to answer. It’s time to think outside of the box and really consider who this person is. Use whatever knowledge you may have about them and what they do. This is not necessarily going into the letter; it’s for your clarification only.
Example: “I could help with filing or I could be a reader.” Stretch your mind here — think about the services you do for other people or resources you have. Maybe you know they have a dog and you have a good friend who is a dog walker in the area.

Try not to limit yourself here. It’s easy to say, “I don’t know” to this sentence, but it’s important that you to try to come up with something. And it might require researching this person some more and seeing what else you can learn about them. Take your time with this if you need to.

4) When I think about this person on my team, I feel __________.
Take a moment and really imagine this person saying yes to whatever it is that you want, and then imagine this person becoming a fan of you. How would you feel knowing that this person believes in you and supports you? Try to avoid using words like “good,” “fine,” and “okay” — these aren’t real feelings; I want some juicy words.
Example: “When I think of this person on my team, I feel like a professional.” Some other example: “in the game,” “proud,” or “honored.” You get the idea.

Covers letters are hard to write?? Don't make Brando laugh.

Now that you’ve completed all these sentences, you should have a little more clarity about why you’re writing to this person. If you had trouble coming up with your answers, you can always go back and do more research on your recipient to help you with questions 2 and 3. However, if you’re still having trouble completing these sentences after that, then I highly recommend that you not waste your time reaching out to this person and instead choose someone else who you feel more prepared to write to. Without this clarity, the letter will be a difficult one to write; trust me. But, if you find that you’re writing to the right person, your cover letter will be all the better for having done this work. If you need some additional help, I go through the entire cover letter process (including the actual writing of the letter) in the Artists In Action Marketing & Networking Package. Check it out. But if you feel like this is a solid start for you, go ahead and give it a try. Good luck with those letters!

Artist Interview: David Lindsay-Abaire

One of the biggest pleasures of my job is being able to talk to artists who have found success and who also possess the self-awareness to understand the process of how they did so. In fact, I did an entire interview series for Artists In Action with people from all corners of the creative industry, trying to get to the essence of what makes someone successful in the arts. The not-so-surprising conclusion: there’s no one way to do things. What works for one person may not work for another. But one thing that was abundantly clear from everyone I talked to was that it takes hard work, persistence, and (above all else) consistently being true to what it is that you love. That last part most certainly rings true in the career of playwright, screenwriter, and lyricist, David Lindsay-Abaire, and I am truly thrilled to present to you my interview with him.

• David Lindsay-Abaire Interview

David is an incredibly gifted writer whose credits include the plays Fuddy Meers, Kimberly Akimbo, Rabbit Hole (for which he won the Pulitzer Prize), and last year’s Good People (which premiered with Tate Donovan, Frances McDormand, and Estelle Parsons); the Broadway musicals High Fidelity and Shrek the Musical; and the upcoming films Rise of the Guardians (for DreamWorks Animation), and Oz: The Great and Powerful (Disney’s prequel to The Wizard of Oz, starring James Franco, Mila Kunis, Michelle Williams, and Rachel Weisz).

Nicole Kidman and Aaron Eckhart in Rabbit Hole

Rabbit Hole was translated to the screen with stars Nicole Kidman and Aaron Eckhart a little over a year ago (it was beautiful and heartbreaking!), and this interview occurred on the eve of its release. Outside of sharing the challenges he faced in adapting his own play into a film, David talks about a wide-range of subjects, including making the stylistic transition from absurdism to realism; the process involved in writing a big-budget, Broadway spectacle; and the difficulties involved in working in the Hollywood studio system. It’s an insightful and inspiring talk, and I’m honored to be able to share it with you. Enjoy!

Embracing vulnerability

Valentine’s Day is here, and whether you have a significant other in your life or you’re single, whether you love the holiday or just can’t stand it — no matter what you have going on in your life — I have a gift that I think will have a major impact on you. It’s a TED Talk (my absolute favorite!) by Brene Brown on the power of vulnerability.

The first time I saw this I was absolutely bowled over. It hit me in the deepest way possible and I wanted to share it with those closest to me. I think one of the reasons that it moved me so much was that I deal with human vulnerability every day in my job as a coach. Whether I’m doing one-on-one private coaching, teaching a Path Class on goal setting, or speaking to a group of artists about their careers, one thing is always present: vulnerability.

Think about it: this is a tough business with no guarantees. People put their hopes and dreams on the line every day with no assurances of success; they bare their souls in the form of auditions, novels, music gigs, art exhibits, stage performances — you name it — and put the fruits of their creative labor into the hands of strangers. Trust me, it’s a pretty amazing thing to witness over and over again.

So, for those of you who find the courage every day to put yourselves out there and aim for the horizon, consider this video a testament to all that you do. Whether or not you’re down with Valentine’s Day, this is a message from the heart that I think you’ll love.

Calling your shot

Have you ever wanted something so badly but couldn’t envision yourself getting it? Maybe you want to produce your own comedy web-series, or play the Greek Theatre in LA, or have your novel published; whatever it is, sometimes we can imagine these things in the abstract, but when pressed to consider the reality, the vision is hazy at best. If this sounds familiar to you, you’re not alone — I encounter this “syndrome” all the time when coaching, and there’s a very simple antidote to it. It’s called “Assuming Success.”

Assuming success is exactly what it sounds like: believing deep down that you will accomplish what it is that you set out to do. Period. I know, I know, right now you’re probably thinking, “Uh, Betsy. That’s it? There must be something you’re forgetting, right?” Well, my friends, that IS all there is to it, but the simplicity of it can be a little deceiving. Otherwise, we’d all be assuming success and wouldn’t have to talk about it.

The thing is, it can be difficult to assume success for a variety of different reasons. Some people think they don’t deserve it. Others think they’re not ready for it. And there are those that just never even considered success as a real possibility. Whatever the reason, they all come down to playing it safe because you don’t have to move outside of your routine and comfort zone — you can just keep on doing whatever it is that you’ve been doing. However, when you assume success, you’re setting yourself up to achieve it and that switch in perspective can often times push you into some new territory. While that territory can be a little disconcerting at first, believe me, it’s a VERY empowering place to be!

Call your shot. And back it up.

Once you get used to the feeling you’ll find a newfound sense of confidence, which will affect every aspect of the way you run your business (not to mention the effect it will have on your life as a whole). You’ll want to make those phone calls that you were a little too timid to make. You’ll charge forward with that creative project that you thought might not appeal to the masses. You’ll take the disappointments in stride because you know that they’re just bumps along the road to the success you’ve envisioned for yourself. This is about having your Babe Ruth moment: pointing to the center field bleachers to say, “That’s where this ball is going,” and having the confidence to back it up.

So…I’m going to leave you all with the challenge of assuming success for yourself. It can be for something big or small — I don’t care what it is, as long as you dig deep and really, TRULY believe that you can accomplish it. It may feel awkward or uncomfortable at first (or not!), but just see it through. Trust me: a simple change in perspective can change everything.

Featured Artist In Action: Sandy Rustin

Here we go again — time to shine the spotlight on one of our favorite artists. This month’s Featured Artist In Action is actress, writer, artistic director, and mom(!), Sandy Rustin. I’ve had the pleasure of knowing Sandy for many years, and let me tell you: she is one hard-working and talented lady! Sandy is proof-positive that having a family does not mean having to sacrifice your artistic career. A look at her credits reveals stints with the Upright Citizen’s Brigade, a host of stage productions and TV guest spots, and her latest endeavor as the writer of the Off Broadway production, Rated P…For Parenthood. And, quite honestly, I think it’s all just the tip of the iceberg for her. So, let’s do what we do and turn things over to Sandy.

1)  When you first started working with Capes Coaching, what were your goals?

I was struggling, as many new moms do, to find the balance between motherhood and career. I came to Capes Coaching for some guidance in figuring out how – and if – I could “have it all.” I was surprised, after having kids, to learn that though I am completely nuts about my children and absolutely love being a mother, my motivation to have a full professional life in the theatre had not dwindled in the least. In fact, having children fueled my passion even more! Afterall, now I have these little people to teach to dream big and follow their dreams! I felt like I wanted — and even needed — to be modeling that sentiment in my own life.

2)  What have you accomplished since then?

My goal was to find a balance between life as a mom and life in the theatre. Since meeting with Betsy, I somehow managed to completely merge those two things! I wrote a show, called Rated P…for Parenthood. It’s a sketch comedy musical that I wrote with Dan Lipton & David Rossmer, about the joys and lunacy of raising kids. Next month, it is opening Off Broadway at the Westside Theatre! I’m beyond thrilled! I wrote this show during nap times and on the nights and weekends when my husband could watch my boys. I took my love of being a mom and turned it into theatre. I’m not sure I’ll ever really find “balance” (is that really a thing parents can find?!?) – but this show is the closest I’ll probably ever get!

3)  What has been your biggest career challenge and how did you overcome it?

Honestly — childcare. I had a whole session with Betsy JUST on childcare! The stress of finding someone I could reliably trust plus managing the expense of it, was equating to me not really having a career at all! I learned to prioritize reliable childcare as a job requirement for me. If I was going to audition successfully, I had to know that my children were well cared for and I had time to do my hair. I booked my first Broadway play when my younger son was not quite 2. I had found a babysitter that the kids loved and that I trusted. I had gotten myself a job teaching improv — 1 day a week after school — that covered the expense of my childcare completely, so I eliminated my guilt about the expense of it! I was able to memorize my sides and put on my makeup. Knowing that my children are well cared for, allows me to focus on my work without stress or guilt. That has made all the difference in the world!

4)  What do you know now that you wish you knew when you were first starting out?

Nothing. I have enjoyed figuring this all out! (Well, actually it would have been nice to know that NO ONE POST PARTUM should EVER attend a Jerry Mitchell dance call — but other than that…really, nothing!) Seriously, it has been navigating this career without a map that has forced me to create my own opportunities and sort out my own path for myself.

5)  What are you currently working on?

Rated P…for Parenthood and parenthood itself are my two big projects right now. I am fully consumed with both! And actually, I am also the Co-Artistic Director of Midtown Direct Rep, the theatre company that developed Rated P over this past year. We are in the midst of our second season, so I am also managing that! It’s a busy time – but also tremendously exciting and satisfying.

6)  Anything else you feel like sharing?

I feel like sharing a thank you to Betsy! I came to Betsy with pregnancy pounds and weepy eyes and she helped me to see that a professional life after children was attainable, manageable, and acceptable – so long as I was prepared to set myself up for the support I needed to succeed. My son was in the back seat of our cross-over vehicle (it is not a mini-van!) with his buddy, and his friend asked, “What does your mom do?” Isaac answered, “My mom sings in grocery stores.” (see this video to understand his response) It was a perfect answer. Thank you Betsy for helping me to see that I can “sing in grocery stores” even with 2 little guys waiting for me at home!

Also — please come see Rated P…for Parenthood! Friends of Capes Coaching can use the code RPBUS44 for 50% off tickets purchased before February 29th! Previews begin February 8th! Click here for tickets and more info

The power of resources

So, now that you’ve taken the time to figure out what it is that you really want, it’s on to making to-do lists with all kinds of actions for you to take. Just kidding. While that may be your gut reaction, let’s hold off on THAT kind of list for the moment. Instead, I’d like you to focus on a different kind of list – a RESOURCE list.

Before we go any further, let’s take a quick second to define what I mean when I’m talking about resources. In this context, resources are people, places, things, even attitudes and philosophies — anything that you have at your disposal to help get you closer to reaching your goals. I’m a firm believer that you already have most of the resources that you need to get what you want, it’s simply a matter of how you choose to organize and utilize them. That’s a pretty empowering idea, isn’t it?

Meryl knows that she doesn't need to buy more chickens for her dinner party. Why? Resource list!

Why is it so important that you take stock of your resources before you put together your action lists? Well, imagine that you’re going to throw a huge dinner party and the first thing on your list of actions is to go shopping for everything you need. If you didn’t stop to look at your resources beforehand, that shopping trip would likely be somewhat of a disaster. You would buy ingredients that you already have and you’d miss those that you didn’t. You might find out too late that you don’t have the right cooking utensils and that you’re short on serving ware, or you might overlook supplies that you could repurpose and waste money buying things you don’t need. In other words, before you can even begin to DO anything, you need to know what you’re working with. I’ve said it before and I will undoubtedly say it again and again: it all comes down to awareness before action.

The best way to compile your list of resources is to start with your goal at the top of the page; that way, you can always reference it for inspiration. Then it’s time to brainstorm. The key here is to not hold back and judge your list — give yourself the freedom to conjure up all that you can. This isn’t about perfection and only writing down things that you know you’ll use; this is about casting your net as wide as you can and seeing what you catch in it. You can always throw back the things that you don’t need.

Let’s say that your goal is to redesign your website so that it represents you as best as possible. A quick brainstorm might include these resources: your computer, your camera (to take photos), your reel or writing samples, examples of websites you admire, Facebook (for recommendations, etc.), a friend of yours who writes and edits copy, people whose opinions you trust for feedback, a positive attitude (things won’t always go the way you want them to!), etc.. You want to get as many resources down onto your list as possible – you can never have too many. If your dad pops into your mind for whatever reason, write him down on your list – if you realize later that he can’t really contribute to your goal, it was no loss to simply include him. That’s not to say that you should include everything in the world on your list, but if something comes to mind while brainstorming, don’t throw it back.

If it helps, set a time limit on your brainstorming sessions just to give yourself a structure and to make sure that you don’t keep yourself from actually coming up with your action list in order to infinitely build your resource list. Once you’re done and ready to move onto your to-do list of actions, you’ll get a huge boost in the form of all of your resources. You’d be surprised by how many actions you come up with that you wouldn’t have even considered before, simply because you have a list of everything available to you staring you in the face. Funny enough, your resource list becomes a major resource in and of itself. And when all is said and done, by taking a little time to get organized before you start putting your plan together, you’ll be in a much more powerful place to work towards your goals!