Choosing your network

We all know the cliché: Hollywood is a soulless mecca of slick opportunists, corporate vampires, and vapid artists — a place where people speak a morally questionable language consisting of either half-truths or downright lies. And to the average American, this stereotype likely extends beyond the borders of Hollywood to any corner of the entertainment industry. As The X-Files bluntly put it: “Trust no one.”

This isn’t the type of Hollywood vampire we’re talking about…

That image certainly makes for a good movie or novel — the classic “fall from innocence” story — but, experience tells me that the vast majority of people in the industry are decent, hard-working, and no different than anyone else striving to make a living in their chosen field. Trust me, I would not be doing what I do if it were otherwise. That said, like any other industry (or, heck, like life itself), there is a small percentage of people within the creative arts that are…unsavory (whether purposefully or unintentionally so). And, unless you’re amazingly lucky, chances are fairly strong that you will encounter them at one point or another. For some people, this isn’t a big deal — it’s simply part of the work. But for others, that sense of pragmatism is more difficult to attain. So, if you fall into the latter category, what can you do about this?

I have good news and bad news. Let’s just get the bad news out of the way: It’s not a perfect world — you simply can’t avoid this type of person 100% of the time. Such is life. There are instances where sucking it up makes sense, and this is really only something I would advocate when the situation feels more irritating than toxic. Let’s face it, this is the sort of thing we all deal with on a regular basis — people that come in and out of our lives that kinda grate on us. It is what it is, and as long as the situation is finite, you can take solace in the fact that the relationship is temporary. Do your thing and move on.

See how happy the Tanners are to be around one another? If you feel this way about your network, you’re doing something right.

But what if you just can’t suck it up? This is actually where the good news come in. When it comes to relationships that are toxic or people who make you feel uncomfortable, you can always say “no.” There’s a misconception that, in this industry, networking is EVERYTHING. And, while it certainly counts for a lot, it’s not something that you have to give yourself completely over to. Regardless of what anyone else may tell you, you do not have to foster or maintain relationships with everyone you meet. If having a relationship with someone feels inauthentic to you, then the effects of maintaining that relationship may very well be worse for you than the benefit that it could be to your career.

Simply ask yourself, “Is this someone I want in my network?” and trust your gut on this one. If the answer is “no,” then remember that you are in control of the situation. The better you feel about the relationships you have, the better you’ll feel about networking. And if you fill your network with people you respect, you’ll not only WANT to work with them, you’ll feel good about doing so.

5 Career Lessons From Mad Men

I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that Mad Men is back — the news is pretty much everywhere these days. I, for one, am beyond excited; the last two Draper-less years have amounted to what I like to call “The Dark Ages” (saved from total ruin by one of my new favs — Homeland — and reruns of one of my olds favs — The West Wing). But even if you’re not a fan of the show, there are a lot of wonderful career lessons that you can take from it and apply to your career in the arts.

Don’t believe me? Then stick around as we look at 5 Career Lessons From Mad Men.

1. Know Your Market

The main reason for Don Draper’s success is his almost preternatural understanding of his audience. Season after season has shown Don creating ad campaigns that truly resound with print, radio, and television audiences. And while it’s clear that he has an innate talent for what he does, he undoubtedly has to research the markets that he’s advertising to. It’s a crucial part of his job…and your job. That’s right, market research is the basis of your marketing plan.

Is my office half-empty or half-full? I can't be bothered with such nonsense -- I've got market research to do.

Think about it: how could you possibly know how to sell yourself and your talent if you have no clue about the market you’re targeting? You’ll save yourself a whole lot of time, energy, and money (not to mention frustration) if you do the research before you start putting your materials and your plan together. So, do as Don does: Know. Your. Market.

2. Research The Players

These players know the players.

Before Don can even start on market research, he has to get a meeting with a client. This is where Roger Sterling and Pete Campbell come in — they’re the account guys. Their job is to build relationships with clients, and in order to do this they need to do their research much like Don needs to do market research. Who are the players? What’s currently going on with their companies? What are their needs?

How does this relate to you? Well, you’ll likely be looking to grow relationships with agents, managers, casting directors, producers, publishers, etc., and the best way to begin that process is by doing your homework on them. I touched on this in the two recent marketing blog posts and I will say it again just to hammer it home: understanding who you’re looking to build a relationship with and why you want a relationship with them is the first (and most important) step in reaching out to your future network.

3. Have Fierce Courage

It goes without saying that the world of advertising in the early 60s was a man’s world. Women, who would eventually make a strong push into the executive ranks in the 70s, were often relegated to roles as secretaries and switchboard operators. Peggy Olson was one of the former when she started working at Sterling Cooper, but she aspired to something bigger; slowly yet surely she began to assert herself and her creative talents, making it impossible for the men around her to ignore what she brought to the table. It wasn’t always easy, and she had many moments of trepidation. But, in the end, she had the fierce courage to create her own destiny — so much so that Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce would be a MUCH different place without her.

What am I looking at? My future. And I'm not afraid to own it.

How this relates to you is obvious. Sometimes you need to take risks and trample all over your fear in order to reach your goals. You usually need to step outside of your comfort zone in order to find the success you’re looking for. Simply put, let fierce courage be your guiding light.

4. Be Authentic To Yourself

Oh, just hangin' around in this old thing. Being my awesome self.

If there’s one person on Mad Men who knows how to leave an impression, it’s Joan Holloway (Joan Harris, for you sticklers). Sure, that’s not hard to do when you’re a statuesque, redheaded bombshell. But, honestly, that’s only going to get you so far. The truth is that Joan’s also got personality to spare, and she’s never been shy about flaunting it. Yes, she can flirt with the best of ‘em, but she also tells it like it is and can cut an overzealous man to shreds with a simple look. The result is a personality as vivid as her flaming red hair, and one that she makes no excuses for. Unlike Don, who can be a hard read (and who is ever-anxious about people discovering who he really is), Joan makes other people feel comfortable in her presence.

Look, it’s no secret that our industry is full of phonies. And I know that it can be difficult not to try on different faces in order to please other people — particularly those that you’re trying to impress. But, in the end, nothing will impress others more than authenticity. This is one situation where you DON’T want to be Don Draper, trying to keep all of your facts straight, wondering who you should be at any given moment. It will cause you more trouble and angst than you can imagine, so do yourself a favor and stay true to who you are. In the end, people are drawn to — and remember — authenticity.

5. Love What You Do

Poor Betty Draper — she gets such a bad rap. Granted, she doesn’t do herself any favors in the parenting department, but I still feel for her. She’s one of the few characters on the show who doesn’t get to spend her days doing what she loves. Of course, much of this has to do with the times themselves, with Betty taking on the role that was likely assumed of her: housewife. Clearly, she doesn’t love it. This is not to dog on being a housewife, which is a job in and of itself. And evidence would point to some of Betty’s friends loving the life they lead, caring for their children and their household. But Betty just doesn’t seem suited (or emotionally equipped) for such a duty, hence that ever-present sense of sadness about her.

To be fair, if you had to spend your time with Glenn, you might be a little glum too...

By contrast, one thing you can say about the crew at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce is that they are passionate about what they do. Their personal lives may be disasters on occasion, but they put their hearts and souls into their jobs because they simply love what they do. This was all the more evident when they defected from the original Sterling Cooper as they realized that they would be subject to a system that hampered their talents. The thought of being restrained from what they do best, in any way, was like being straightjacketed. Yes, much of it had to do with egos, but those egos partially stemmed from the knowledge that no one did what they did better than they did it. In the end, it was about love of the work itself.

I don’t need to tell you that the entertainment industry can be just as brutal as Mad Men’s ad industry. It’s not for the feint of heart. So, if you’re going to put everything you’ve got into it, you sure as hell better love it. If not, the risks aren’t worth it. But, if you do, the rewards are that much better!

The gang from Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. In it to win it.

Networking tips for the holidays

I don’t know about you, but one of my favorite things about the holiday season is making the rounds of all the holiday parties. It’s not just the abundance of goodies and all the opportunities to watch people stealing kisses under the mistletoe – there’s something about this time of year that makes people a little more festive…a tad bit jollier.

Of course, another bonus of the holiday party season is all of the networking opportunities. Wait…did I just see some of you scowl?? Let me guess – these networking opportunities actually make you anxious because you don’t know how to take advantage of them in a way that feels natural. Am I right? Well, let’s do something about that and see if we can’t get you in shape to be a networking rock star this holiday season.

Cousin Eddie: NOT a smart partier.

The first thing to keep in mind is to PARTY SMART. What do I mean by this? Well, there are generally two types of holiday parties – personal and professional. Personal parties are usually everyone’s favorites – friends, family, loved ones, you know the drill. I’m guessing you won’t need to do much networking at these parties, though the tips I’ll be giving can come in handy in those unusual situations when your cousin’s new girlfriend happens to be the head of development at a major studio. If this is the case: play it cool! And keep some of what’s to follow in mind.

The professional party is almost always about networking in some manner — people in the business getting together to make new connections (and solidify the ones they have) while they celebrate. Now, I know a lot of people who cringe at the thought of having to go to professional parties — a trip to the dentist sounds more appealing to them (no offense, dentists). But I like to think of these parties as opportunities. The key is to go into them with an open mind and look to make authentic connections with interesting people. It’s not about hunting down contacts like your career depends on it; it’s about planting relationship seeds that will grow down the road. If you’re not familiar with the Networking Principal of Farming, Not Hunting, check out this blog post.

Before going to a professional party, make sure you’re clear about what your intentions for going are. Think about who might be there and what kind of opportunities might arise. Make sure you have a Soundbyte prepared for that inevitable moment when someone asks you, “So, whatcha been up to?” You don’t want to hem and haw your way around an answer, but you also don’t want to sound like a robot giving an automated response. The key with a Soundbyte is to comfortably (and briefly) give someone an idea of the important things going on in your life and career. Think of it as a trailer, as opposed to the feature film of your entire life. The best trailers are always the ones that give just enough information to entice, but don’t lay out the entire story for those who may not be interested. Soundbytes are a key element to networking authentically, and if you need more support with them, check out the Artists In Action Marketing & Networking package.

Clooney needs to update his marketing materials if this headshot is still on his website.

Being prepared, in general, is crucial to holiday party networking. Yes, having a good Soundbyte is one way to do so, but it’s not the only way. Think about all of your marketing materials — are they in tip-top shape, ready to represent you in the best possible way? If you give someone your website address, is it up to date with all of your relevant information? If your reel or your resume is online, are they as current as they could be? Actors, how about those headshots? Do they look like you circa 2001 or 2011? Writers, are those writing samples ready to go? And don’t forget about Facebook! My guess is that the majority of people out there will be following up with new acquaintances by friending them. If that’s the case, how are your profile and wall looking? And what about those photos? Anything you’d be embarrassed about? If nothing else, getting familiar with Facebook’s privacy settings is a good place to start – that way you’ll be able to control who sees what, which could save you a lot of angst down the road.

Ultimately, the most important thing to remember when you’re heading out to party this holiday season is that your attitude is everything. You can put on your best game face all you want, but if you’re anxious or disdainful it WILL show through. So rather than putting pressure on the situation, make it your aim to have fun. Wait…fun at a party?? I know, what a crazy idea!!

Be open to possibilities and, above all else, be YOU. Trust me, the more natural you are, the more people will genuinely gravitate towards you. And before you know it, 2012 will be here and those holiday seeds you planted will be bearing all kinds of fruit. Party away!

A Win/Win for everyone!

I’m out in Los Angeles again this week, and one thing I’m hearing from a lot of people here is that they find networking intimidating. This isn’t anything new — I’ve been hearing the same thing from my clients in New York for years. One of the main reasons that people seem to get intimidated by the process is that they feel like they have nothing to offer in a networking relationship, especially when they’re dealing with people in the industry who have a lot of influence or power. Well, fear not: I have just the thing to help with this.

"Your neurosis is comic gold! If you let me blog about our sessions, I'll introduce you to the little red-haired girl."

In the Artists In Action program, I go through the 10 Principles of Authentic Networking (two of which I blogged about here), and one of them addresses this very issue — it’s called Win/Win. The Win/Win principle focuses on the idea of authentic networking being mutually beneficial, meaning that you have something to offer that is just as valuable as whatever it is you hope to get from the relationship. Networking from a perspective of win/win is based on respect, trust, and equitable sharing. What’s tricky about networking in the arts is that the supply and demand of artists is so out of whack that it’s easy to feel like you need “Them” (whoever they are) more than they need you. But when you apply the win/win principle, you enter into a relationship as equals. Neither of you is better than the other. It’s about being able to confidently say, “I have value to add.”

Last year, one of my coaching clients, a writer by the name of Jocelyn, had her first short story published in a small literary journal around the same time that she was finishing the rough draft of her first novel. Not long after that, she ran into her neighbor, Pam, in the hallway of their apartment building and, after catching up on each other’s lives, Pam offered to introduce Jocelyn to her husband’s sister, who happened to be a literary agent.

At first, Jocelyn was thrilled; she didn’t have an agent and would certainly need one now that her novel was nearing completion. But when Jocelyn heard that the agent in question worked for one of the more prestigious literary agencies in the city, she started to have doubts. In her mind, she didn’t deserve to be playing on the same field as that agency without having a major body of work to stand on. She basically felt like an amateur.

Pam told Jocelyn that the one thing her sister-in-law always complained about when it came to her job was a lack of original voices and new perspectives. If there was one aspect of her writing that Jocelyn felt most confident with, it was her unique voice, which was the very thing that the literary journal found so compelling in her short story.

The more that Jocelyn thought about it, she realized that the agent needed quality material just as much as she needed quality representation. And even if she only had one minor success with her published story, it was still a success that she could point to as an example of her unique voice; one that she felt would be a benefit to the agent, no matter how prestigious. Shifting her perspective to win/win made all the difference when it came to Jocelyn stepping up to the plate and moving her career to that next level.

I’ve seen countless examples of this principle put into practice, and I can’t tell you how much of a confidence booster it is. So, the next time you feel hesitant about initializing a networking relationship, stop and think about what it is that you can bring to the table. It may not always be obvious, but with a little creativity, I’m sure you’ll find that you have something of value to offer in any situation.

And now for something completely different: authentic networking

In my last post, I mentioned that I had been hearing a lot of frustration from artists when it comes to networking and that this was due to confusion, intimidation, and feelings of inauthenticity when practicing it. Now, networking is such a huge topic that I actually devote two separate lessons to it in Artists In Action, so there’s no way for me to cover it all in this blog. But, I do want to make it a little easier for you. I’d like to introduce you to two principals of authentic networking, both of which I’ve seen have a major impact on the way that my coaching clients network.

The first principle is based on the idea of FARMING, NOT HUNTING.*

Contrary to appearances, they are uber-successful networkers.

Most people actually think of networking as hunting – they have to find a target, hone in on it, and get their kill. “Must get agent now or will die!” This mentality has an air of desperation to it that’s frankly unattractive, uncomfortable for everyone involved, and feels forced and inauthentic. Instead, what if you thought about networking as farming? Your first response may be: Huh?? But take a moment and let that sink in.

When we approach networking from the farming perspective, it becomes all about planting seeds to grow relationships as opposed to sharpening your killer instinct. Farming your network means cultivating relationships with care and patience over time, which takes the pressure off of needing to instantly capture your target in order to see immediate results. Think about it — the relationships you have in your life were likely gained over a course of time rather than being instantaneous. So why should your business relationships be any different?

This principle reminds me of a class field trip we took to a fruit farm when I was a kid. The highlight of the trip was when we all went berry picking at the end, and we got to take home all of the berries we collected. I remember the farmers instructing us to ignore any berries that were eaten by bugs or had already fallen to the ground and were spoiled. We only wanted the good berries, and the thing about those good berries is that they were only ready to be picked when they were ready. They couldn’t be rushed or slowed down.

Let’s also consider that the farmers had planted those berries months or, in some cases, years before I ever went berry picking. So we can assume that when you’re farming, your crop is still growing while you’re doing other things. You obviously have to keep tending to it, but if you planted your seeds successfully, your crop will grow while you’re working elsewhere. But, if you’re hunting, you’re not seeing any results unless you are literally hunting. You can only hunt to be successful at hunting. If you were going in for a meeting with an agent and approached the meeting from a farming perspective instead of a hunting perspective, can you see how your expectations for that meeting would shift? Might you be able to relax a little more and focus on cultivating a relationship with that agent, realizing that the meeting itself is not the end of the road?

The great thing about farming when it comes to networking is that the approach should already feel natural to you. After all, it’s exactly how you interact with people every day of your life. Whether you realize it or not, you’re planting seeds on a regular basis, and you never know when the seeds of those relationships will bare fruit.

This next principle is a tough one for many artists — the principle of ASKING FOR HELP.

You have to be more than willing to accept generosity, and oftentimes, you need to go out and ask for it. Until you become as willing to ask for help as you are to give it, you’re only working half the equation. In a perfect world, we’d all be able to achieve success without having to ask for help, but I guarantee that if you ask anyone that you consider to be successful how they got there, they would tell you it wasn’t on their own. At some point on their path to success, they had the courage to ask for help.

This is something you need to get comfortable with. I know too many artists who are afraid to reach out for help, because they’re afraid of being annoying or needy, but it doesn’t have to come down to that. Asking for help doesn’t mean giving up your dignity as long as you’re tactful in your request. I can’t tell you how many times people have told me, “Betsy, once I actually asked for it, it wasn’t that big a deal. I got it!”

The reality is that, in this industry, your relationships can have a major impact on your career and it’s a solid bet that over the course of time you’ll be asking for — and giving — help more times that you can count. It’s part and parcel, so the best thing you can do is get comfortable with this practice and not be self-conscious about it. In all the years that I’ve been coaching, I’ve heard hundreds of stories where the simple yet courageous act of asking for help became the catalyst for artists reaching their goals.

These are only two of the ten principals of authentic networking that I teach in Artists In Action, but just implementing “Farming, Not Hunting” and “Asking For Help” into your networking process can have a major impact on the way that you network. The more you use them, the more natural they’ll become to you, and the more authentic you’ll feel when you network.

*credit to Larry Sharpe of Neo-Sage

Networking: the elephant in the room

Between the last couple of seminars we did in New York and the one we did earlier this week here in Los Angeles, one thing is clear: artists of all kinds are struggling with networking. This is nothing new, of course. In fact, from the moment I started coaching, networking was a topic that people were tentative about. They were intimidated by the prospect of having to get out there and meet people; they were confused about the best way to make a lasting impression; and they were hesitant to engage in something that felt “dirty” to them because they had to schmooze. These concerns still rampantly exist in the artistic community, generally because most artists are predisposed to have an innate sense of craft that often comes at the expense of understanding how to get it out there into the world.

In my next blog post, I’m going to address some ways that you can get in touch with your inner networker and make the experience one that comes more naturally to you. But before I do so, I’d love to hear about your networking experiences. What aspects of networking pose a particular challenge to you? Are you having trouble figuring out where to meet people? Do you struggle with follow-ups? Does the process feel inauthentic? Whatever it is, I want to hear it.

On the flip side, where are you specifically finding success? Are you a natural people person? Do you have an efficient organization system for your contacts? Are you simply excited by the prospect of networking? Drop us a line in the comments and give us the scoop. And if you have any friends who are struggling or having a lot of success with networking, send them our way so they can share their stories with us.

Networking can be such a frustrating topic to deal with and if you find this to be true, trust me, you’re not alone. My goal is to demystify the process and help you find some light at the end of the tunnel. Hope to hear from you!