Yes! I mean…No! I mean…???

BEFORE: Donald said "Yes" one too many times...

It’s no exaggeration to say that as awesome as the holidays are, they come with a certain amount of pitfalls. Diets are in jeopardy, curfews are blown, and budgets are pushed beyond their limits. It just goes with the territory, and we all seem to understand the rules by now. But, one thing that seems to happen every December that can have an averse effect on your life and career is overextending yourself or, as I like to call it, developing “Yes Man Syndrome.”

There are two major reasons that we fall into Yes Man Syndrome: 1) We’re too accommodating and are afraid to say “No”; and 2) We fool ourselves into thinking that we need to say “Yes” to everything in order to get ahead. Unfortunately, regardless of the reason, the result is usually the same — feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and maybe even a little resentful. Worse, by not being judicious about the things you’re saying yes to, you often find yourself unable to reach the goals you set for yourself because you’re taking on things that are impeding your progress. You may remember my blog post on making smart investments from a couple of weeks ago, where I mentioned a client of mine that I dubbed “The Yes Man” because he took on absolutely everything that came his way. Well, I called him that because he had a serious case of Yes Man Syndrome.

I’ve found that this hits home for a lot of artists, particularly because they often have to juggle multiple jobs to pay the bills in order to practice their art. But, it’s not just jobs that they’re juggling, is it? It’s jobs, social lives, family commitments, domestic responsibilities, and all the rest. And at the end of the day, a lot of artists find that they don’t have time for the one thing they feel truly passionate about – their craft.

The solution? Obviously, it’s being more selective. But, that can be easier said than done, right? So, to help you in the fight against Yes Man Syndrome, I want to introduce you to Yes & No Commitments. The idea behind Yes & No Commitments is that in order to say “Yes” to the things that you really want, you need to say “No” to others. Trust me on this one, I’ve learned over the years that saying no without feeling guilt or shame is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves. And I’m only talking about saying no to the commitments that are truly getting in the way of what’s most important to you, not everything that comes your way.

AFTER: Donald used Yes & No Commitments

Take the time to really think about how you’re committing yourself these days. Are there things you wish you could be doing but don’t have the time for? Do you keep pushing off certain goals until that elusive “someday” because you’re too overworked to do anything about them? Are you simply longing for something specific? Write it down, whatever it is – just seeing it can have a major impact on your ability to make it a priority.

Next, think about the things that you could say “No” to in order to fit whatever it is you just wrote down into your life. Are you going out too often? Are you taking care of others too much? Do you watch an excessive amount of TV? Write it all down. Whatever you can come up with, just get it down until you’re out of ideas.

Now, take a look at your two lists and – you guessed it – make some commitments. What are you willing to say “No” to from your second list in order to say “Yes” to the things on your first list? This is about sacrifice, which isn’t always easy, I know. But, what you’ll discover is that if you want something bad enough, you’ll be more willing to make those sacrifices. And you should definitely write down how you’re going to do these things, like this: “I will say NO to ABC in order to say YES to XYZ.” Seeing them next to one another should help give you the oomph you need to see it through. I go through a more comprehensive version of Yes & No Commitments along with some other support tools for overcommitting yourself in the Artists In Action Goal Setting & Time Management package, so check it out if you want to really go the distance with this idea.

In the end, it’s simply about being smart when it comes to committing yourself. And the holidays, in particular, can be tricky when we’ve got parties galore on top of extra shifts at the restaurant and all kinds of shopping to do. Try as we might, we can’t do it all. But, with a little thought and careful planning, we can manage to fit in the things that really resonate and still have some fun on top of it!

Back to school — what’s your game plan?

They did NOT have a game plan.

So, summer came and went and hopefully you have a nice tan to show for it! I, for one, love back to school season! Even though I’ve been out of school for more years than I’d like to admit (☺), I still get flushed with excitement for fall — the season churns up a wave of energy and focus that I can ride all the way through to the winter doldrums. It helps that our industry experiences seasons too. There’s a freshness to this time of year, a feeling of new beginnings. So, whether you had a productive summer or you decided to slow down, it’s time to get back in the game and play full out. But, do you have a plan?

It’s all too easy to get caught up in the excitement of starting fresh and begin blitzing every area of your career with busy work — it makes you feel like you’re doing something. But, doing something for the sake of doing it isn’t going to get you much further than feeling stuck, unfocused or overwhelmed. Putting together a plan will focus your attention and help you work more efficiently, which ultimately means that you’ll be working smarter, not harder.

As you get back to work, here are a few tips to help you get into the swing of things and start moving forward…

5 quick tips to get your game plan ON!

1. Make a list of everything you DID accomplish for your career this summer:
It’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like you didn’t do enough, so give yourself a little pat on the back for the things you did you — you’ll feel that much more motivated to keep working, trust me!

2. Make a date with your schedule:
Set aside a couple of hours to sit with your calendar and really evaluate where your time is going — figure out what’s working and what isn’t. I can’t tell you how many people have never done this simple step and are surprised by what they find. Remember, it’s all about making your time work for you.

3. Do one thing you’ve been thinking/planning/talking about doing but haven’t yet:
C’mon, I know you have something that you’ve been holding out on. I dare you to do it this week, before more time passes. Let it be successful just by taking the initiative instead of focusing on the result. See if that helps you get out of your head and into action.

4. Go to one networking event:
Sitting at your computer and putting your plan together is obviously valuable, but you also need to get out there in the world so that you can be IN the business. After all, if you’re not connecting with the people in your industry, how can you expect to work with them? Commit to one networking opportunity, whether it’s a seminar, a class, or a party. Get out there and share yourself with the world!

5. Follow me on Facebook and Twitter:
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So, shake off the summer rust, pack up your swimsuits, and get ready to make things happen, because school’s back in session, and so is your career. Make a plan, work smart, and — as always — have fun!